There are a lot of people that are scared of death and there are a lot of people that aren’t scared of death. And I’m not talking about your own death, but rather the death of those around you.
Your own death is an entirely different topic in terms of fear, but I’ve come to realize that crippling grief and sorrow caused by the death of a friend or family member comes from a skewed relationship with Time itself.
Losing a loved one is undoubtedly sad. It is normal to cry and to grieve, but for the most part, these deaths aren’t affecting our lives in any practical way.
I’ve seen the death of a great-grandma cause suffering when, from nature’s standpoint of survival, she wasn’t providing much for her descendents anymore. Yet, they all felt as if they had lost something. They cried because they felt like they were losing moments. Memories. They would never get that family christmas party back, or enjoy another of her famous homemade rolls.
While true when observing time in a linear sense, I’ve come to realize that this doesn’t have to be true if we simply step back and look at everything from a different perspective.
As humans, we have to suffer through experiencing time linearly. So once someone dies, as we move forward they remain dead. However, that does not mean those past moments of time simply cease to exist. They are just as real as the here and now.
Obviously, dwelling on the past can be detrimental to the future. Realizing that the past is very real, however, can have the opposite effect. This realization can free us. We can enjoy the fact that these amazing and wonderful times we shared with the deceased are just as real as if they happened last week, yesterday, five minutes ago, and are even as real as if they were happening right now.
Just because we don’t have the power to experience them that way does not diminish the realness of these memories.
“One of the most effective tools for handling the past is the creation of a different context.”Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins
Death is powerful, but our minds are more powerful. If we move past the immediate grief, we can see that all we fear about losing this person is not as impactful as it may seem. If we change the context of death from ‘this person is completely gone forever’ into something more along the lines of ‘this is merely another point on their journey’ we can see that nothing really stops existing.
“And Death is not real, even in the Relative sense—it is but Birth to a new life—and You shall go on, and on, and on, to higher and still higher planes of life, for aeons upon aeons of time. The Universe is your home, and you shall explore its farthest recesses before the end of Time. You are dwelling in the Infinite Mind of The All, and your possibilities and opportunities are infinite, both in time and space. And at the end of the Grand Cycle of Aeons, when The All shall draw back into itself all of its creations—you will go gladly, for you will then be able to know the Whole Truth of being At One with The All.”The Kybalion by The Three Initiates
While this individual may have moved on to a realm we don’t know about, or can even fathom, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. They very much exist in your memory, in their impact on their social circle, in the literal weight of their atoms and the dance of the cosmos, they are just as real as they were before.
I don’t tell you all of this because I profess to be all knowing about death. I don’t think our entire society’s view of death is inherently wrong (don’t get me started on the funeral industry though). I just think death can have crippling effects on people simply because of a viewpoint that can be changed with a simple mindset evolution.
Death can be one of the scariest things in life. It looks like a giant brick wall at the end of your journey. I have started the process of taking down that brick wall for myself, and want more people to do this too. Don’t be scared of death.